Fast Talker.....

"I'm sorry...what?" and "Can you repeat that?" I never get this person to repeat it though. You ask him a question and 15 minutes later you forget what you asked. This is my counterpart at work, someone who is supposed to train me. I once asked him what a 3 digit code was.....15-20 minutes later I'm focusing so hard on what my original question was so that I do not get side tracked by complicated things that have nothing to do with my question. He was going to leave this company, they promoted me to replace him and he had two weeks to train me. Then he decides to stay and my boss decides to keep us both.....Does anyone think this guy will ever fully train me?? No way. Why would he train his replacement?? I'm stuck in stupid because this guy is practicing a false sense of job security. Its been almost two years now and I find that I can not perform simple tasks because numb nuts hasn't shown me. Or he has. But he talks so fast and add so much fluff that I can't understand him. I'm starting to think fast talker talks fast so that no one can follow...because if we could I bet we'd realize fast talker doesn't know shit.

Oh the Joy.......

Breastfeeding. Me, a new first time Mom tried it....and it didn't work. I tried and tried and cried but it just didn't work out. Today I read in the news that Gisele Bunchen says that breastfeeding is "essential". Thank you Captain Obvious. She also states that it creates a special bond between mother and child. So....since I couldn't do it, do I lack that special bond? Let me tell you about my pregnancy and delivery. It sucked. I had gestational diabetes, I cried often, I had acid reflux daily....I did enjoy the attention though. I think I was offered a seat on the train daily. There, that's it. There's the joy. The seat you get offered on the train. Then delivery comes....I push for 4 hours but he's not coming out, time for a C-Section. Getting a C-Section is like being in a Freddy Krugar movie. You think...."am I seriously cut in half right now?" while you feel like vomitting but can not since they've severered all of your stomach muscles. Let me tell you about my baby boy. He is beyond words amazing. I think often..."I made this beautiful person???"....then he smiles and you think, "yes this is why women go through this." However....I just want to say that not all pregnancies are "joyful" and not all deliveries are without a horror show. If anyone tells you the opposite they are lying. And speak up if you had a similar awful experience. No one ever admits this because when you do (and I'm speaking from experience) they look at you like you are the devil.....I mean how dare I say pregnancy sucks, that's what we women are put on this earth for right?!!??! Oh come on now......isn't it 2010?